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"I know."
She swallows.
"I know. That's why I lashed out."
She swallows.
"I know. That's why I lashed out."
"I don't know what it says about me that I'm okay in the new world."
She is. She could be. As terrible as it is, it made her so much stronger, and she understands it.
"But I don't know that I can come back to this one. I feel crazy here, too."
She is. She could be. As terrible as it is, it made her so much stronger, and she understands it.
"But I don't know that I can come back to this one. I feel crazy here, too."
"That's why, wherever we go after you graduate, it has to be different than this. Different than the old world." And that scares him so he holds her tighter.
"I'd understand if you didn't. I just - everything feels so fucied up. I feel fucked up. I didn't used to and I don't know if it's an improvement or not."
She feels crazy. She feels broken.
She feels crazy. She feels broken.
Edited 2024-09-01 01:56 (UTC)
We.
After she graduates.
She swallows, because she can't think about that right now. She needs to be here.
"Right now, we're okay."
After she graduates.
She swallows, because she can't think about that right now. She needs to be here.
"Right now, we're okay."
"And if it doesn't heal?" is the natural followup.
"How much can someone go through before they can't come back from it?"
"How much can someone go through before they can't come back from it?"
"I don't believe in like... destiny, and things like that. I don't believe the Admiral has any concentrated insight."
What she means is: "If that's why you're choosing to be here with me, to try to do that, then that's different."
What she means is: "If that's why you're choosing to be here with me, to try to do that, then that's different."
"And then I'd just be yelling at someone else on the deck. Maybe for different reasons."
But maybe not, she says with a shrug, and a hint of a return smile over the top of her mug.
But maybe not, she says with a shrug, and a hint of a return smile over the top of her mug.
"I'm sure I would. I'm pretty equal opportunity when it comes to yelling."
She was trying to do better; trying to be better. Now she doesn't know.
The smile fades. "Did you - were you okay? Through all of that?"
She was trying to do better; trying to be better. Now she doesn't know.
The smile fades. "Did you - were you okay? Through all of that?"
Eric. She presses her lips together, wonders vaguely if this counts as cheating, just a bit.
But Godric was the one who set it up, so: "Who's Nora?"
But Godric was the one who set it up, so: "Who's Nora?"
As a rule, Rosita has learned not to ask people about their loved ones that died. It's cruel to them, since most of them weren't raised as she was. Since the loss is generally so fucking big, too big to know what to do with and keep moving forward.
But that's not how she was raised, and he already knows so much about her.
"What's a while?"
But that's not how she was raised, and he already knows so much about her.
"What's a while?"
Right now. For just this moment.
"Ro, if anything happens to me, I just-" He shudders. "I keep feeling the knife in me."
"Ro, if anything happens to me, I just-" He shudders. "I keep feeling the knife in me."
She has a choice here, she realizes; continue pursuing the dead, ask about the living.
"And then she died. The Authority have something to do with it?"
"And then she died. The Authority have something to do with it?"
Under his hold, she tenses up at the idea. She reaches, automatically but unable to stop herself, to smooth her hand over his back to make sure he's whole, he's here.
"Nothing's going to happen. It's not any more real than the walkers."
"Nothing's going to happen. It's not any more real than the walkers."
He shakes his head. It doesn't bother him to talk about her now, because she's still alive to him. He never felt her death. He knows that it happens, but - sometimes he can pretend.
"No. Not really. It was humans. They engineered a virus that - only vampires could get. It killed us, slowly. She was killed by that."
"No. Not really. It was humans. They engineered a virus that - only vampires could get. It killed us, slowly. She was killed by that."
Something in her face falls a little. Viruses. Fucking viruses.
"I'm sorry. It's... hard. To lose people that way."
"I'm sorry. It's... hard. To lose people that way."
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