"I all but insisted on John reading mine because I couldn't be bothered spending the rest however-long-it'll-be second-guessing whether he did it or not regardless," Astarion says. "Is it important to you that he not read it?"
"I'd rather not. Besides it being my life, not some fucking... entertainment column. I still don't accept that there are any grounds to hold me here on. But that's not how anywhere works."
"The last thing I needed was my best friend's boyfriend invested in whether I graduate or not. Well. Maybe not the last thing, but definitely top three."
"That Godric is in a relationship with your best friend," he says lightly. "I was irritated when I found out John is fucking a previously useful source of stress relief, but your situation is...well. I can see how it's in the top three last things you'd need."
"We have a deal, me and Jesus. I try if he tries. This is royally fucking up my plan of waiting him out until he goes home so I can go back to being miserable. "
She presses her lips together, feeling how it pushes strangely against teeth sharper than she's used to.
She smiles, a little, toying with the pencil in her hand.
"Before he ran into scouts from my group, it was his and one other. They both had plenty of food, but either no weapons, no fighters, or both. They were being run by another group that showed up once a month to demand tribute, and if they couldn't pay, the Saviors killed one of theirs and demanded more the next time."
Because humans are trash.
"So when he found Alexandria, which has... lots of guns, and lots of fighters, but no food. Well, apparently that works out for everyone in the end. The further we go from the society the world had as a whole, the more we need each other, whether we like it or not. We need people like him."
"...Yes," he says, after several long moments spent considering the question. "I think I might. But I...very much appreciate that the thought crossed your mind."
The thought of her doing it is slightly mortifying, but the idea that she wants to is...
...nice. It's nice. He can let himself acknowledge that.
"Because I really, really want to yell at him. And - I wanted to offer, before. After port. But if he ever tries to fuck you over, I don't care what he is. I'll back you up."
This, though, is news to her. She saw Astarion talking to Godric on the network when Eric first arrived, but she'd been very quickly distracted from it.
So, since he brought it up: "What happened with you and Godric?"
"Nothing, really. I just - can't say I like the way he talks about Eric.
Calling him his child, taking responsibility for him like he's an
extension of himself. It's...well, it's familiar in ways I don't care for."
"Generously, I could say that our language has no accurate words to
describe the relationship between a vampire and the mortals he's turned.
Less generously, I will say that Godric is suggesting that because he
wants to use the transcendent uniqueness of his experiences as a shield
to hide behind."
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
"I all but insisted on John reading mine because I couldn't be bothered spending the rest however-long-it'll-be second-guessing whether he did it or not regardless," Astarion says. "Is it important to you that he not read it?"
no subject
She just got angry with him first.
"I'd rather not. Besides it being my life, not some fucking... entertainment column. I still don't accept that there are any grounds to hold me here on. But that's not how anywhere works."
no subject
"Sadly not. If everyone got what they deserved, well..."
He tilts his head back, gazing at the ceiling.
"I can't even imagine what that world would look like."
no subject
She still does, it's just harder now. For a lot of reasons.
"I wish he hadn't gotten caught up in this bullshit."
no subject
"What bullshit do you mean exactly? We've had...quite a lot of it to work through."
no subject
She waves around them vaguely.
"The last thing I needed was my best friend's boyfriend invested in whether I graduate or not. Well. Maybe not the last thing, but definitely top three."
no subject
Astarion inclines his head.
"I...wasn't aware that complication was in play," he says mildly.
no subject
She'd been getting close to full on bitching herself, but she's looking at him now.
no subject
"That Godric is in a relationship with your best friend," he says lightly. "I was irritated when I found out John is fucking a previously useful source of stress relief, but your situation is...well. I can see how it's in the top three last things you'd need."
no subject
She presses her lips together, feeling how it pushes strangely against teeth sharper than she's used to.
no subject
Astarion chuckles.
"Why? Did you make that deal assuming that he wouldn't make an effort?"
no subject
But also: "He's... not like any other survivor I know. I figured if I could stall him out long enough to get over it, he'd remember that."
no subject
"I don't recall ever speaking to him. In passing, but no more. What is it about him that makes him different?"
no subject
Humans are trash, largely. Rosita kind of already knew this but the virus really brought it out in bold, neon print.
"For another, he's still actively trying to get us all to like each other when most of us would rather just stick to our groups and fuck the rest."
no subject
Astarion considers this.
"That's...admirable, I suppose? Even if it seems more than a little futile as well."
no subject
She smiles, a little, toying with the pencil in her hand.
"Before he ran into scouts from my group, it was his and one other. They both had plenty of food, but either no weapons, no fighters, or both. They were being run by another group that showed up once a month to demand tribute, and if they couldn't pay, the Saviors killed one of theirs and demanded more the next time."
Because humans are trash.
"So when he found Alexandria, which has... lots of guns, and lots of fighters, but no food. Well, apparently that works out for everyone in the end. The further we go from the society the world had as a whole, the more we need each other, whether we like it or not. We need people like him."
no subject
"....How true. I can only hope for the sake of your world's people that our doubts are unfounded."
Though somehow he sees it as unlikely.
no subject
And there is absolutely nothing she can do about it now, anyway. She's here. Her people aren't.
"Would you hate it, if I yelled at John for you?"
no subject
"...Yes," he says, after several long moments spent considering the question. "I think I might. But I...very much appreciate that the thought crossed your mind."
The thought of her doing it is slightly mortifying, but the idea that she wants to is...
...nice. It's nice. He can let himself acknowledge that.
no subject
She does want to follow his wishes. But also -
"Because I really, really want to yell at him. And - I wanted to offer, before. After port. But if he ever tries to fuck you over, I don't care what he is. I'll back you up."
no subject
"Thank you. Given some of Godric's behaviour recently, I - well, suffice to say I feel the same."
He'd already known about the circumstances of Eric's turning and he hadn't loved the sound of it. Recent events have not left him any more confident.
no subject
So, since he brought it up: "What happened with you and Godric?"
no subject
"Nothing, really. I just - can't say I like the way he talks about Eric. Calling him his child, taking responsibility for him like he's an extension of himself. It's...well, it's familiar in ways I don't care for."
no subject
"When I first tried to talk to him about it, he said there weren't human words for it. Is it not just... vampiric terms?"
no subject
Astarion sighs.
"Generously, I could say that our language has no accurate words to describe the relationship between a vampire and the mortals he's turned. Less generously, I will say that Godric is suggesting that because he wants to use the transcendent uniqueness of his experiences as a shield to hide behind."
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)
(no subject)