If she's hurt, she'll stitch herself up; if she's injured, she'll make bandages from her clothes, boil water to wash them in, and bind her own wounds. This is what she has done, largely, since the world ended.
She runs her thumb along the teeth of the key, not yet closing her fingers.
"Archer and Jesus come and go too," she points out.
"They do. Archer less so when I'm not around. Eric, too, but also not unless I'm around." He's always prowling for something or other.
He knows that might make the deal a little different, but he wants to give her this trust. Someone he isn't bound to. Someone he isn't romantic with. Someone who is just as important as the three people they've named.
"Or," she counters, a firm note of warning in her voice, "Don't tease me with something I might not be able to have. Take the key back. Give it to me when the people that are already most important to you don't have a problem with it."
"Don't fucking do that." She'd been waffling before, but now she turns and tosses the key onto the table, slides her arm through the other strap of the pack and starts for the door.
"I know I'm a mess, and I know you're trying, and I know - don't do that. Don't say shit you think I want to hear.
He stands up and his hand raps on the table. Not aggressive, but frustrated.
"Ro, stop."
He cannot and will not let the emotions get the better of him.
"I am asking you to do one task. I am asking you to try. For me. Now. You do not have to believe me, but I have never given you an indication that I am - am - blowing smoke up your ass."
"You stop!" she snaps, already turned back around when she hears the impact with the table.
"You think I'm not trying? Does this not look like trying to you? You think I'm out here just talking to anyone? You think anyone else has gotten a fucking apology from me?"
And she has already slid so far backwards she's a little ashamed of how easy it was, but they didn't touch on that, they haven't needed to, so she lets it go now too.
"At least it's not that simple. Don't think that of all the things I might believe, that I think I hold a candle to a list that includes two men you would consider partners, and... Eric."
She has no quick summary for the bond between a vampire and his sire, and she doesn't try right now.
"You are - " He falters a moment, finding his words as he sits back down.
"You are everything I would ever want in a friend. In a sister. In a daughter. You are family to me in more ways than you understand. That will always take priority. To me."
Something in her dark eyes narrows for a moment, but then her expression softens.
Then it softens further to something pained, something longing, and she swallows and looks away.
"...I want to be able to believe that, Godric. I do." She wants nothing more, in fact, and that's why it feels so dangerous. "I don't know how. I just told you, I don't know how."
"I don't know. That isn't a possibility to me. I know it is to you. I know. If you want an answer, then I only have one. If I ask you to do this, to try your hardest to trust me, and I fail you, then there's nothing I can do to get it back. And I don't think I would deserve another chance."
He spreads out his hands. "I am willing to bet it all on this, Rosita. Please."
The thing is, there is nothing in her that believes it would come in such a simple, gentle form as being asked to give back the key. Someone would take it maybe, maybe the locks change, maybe she's asked not to use it or there's simply never anyone there. She doesn't know.
She doesn't know how, only that in the end she will not be welcome where she has come to call home, and if that happens again she has no idea what she'll do.
He asks her to trust him. To try. She looks at the key, looks at him and feels like she can't fucking breathe, but she snatches up the key again.
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She's still guarded though, holding out her hand.
"What do you mean, unless I'm hurt?" she asks, though she thinks she knows. She just needs to be clear.
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"Then I will ask questions. But not many."
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She runs her thumb along the teeth of the key, not yet closing her fingers.
"Archer and Jesus come and go too," she points out.
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He knows that might make the deal a little different, but he wants to give her this trust. Someone he isn't bound to. Someone he isn't romantic with. Someone who is just as important as the three people they've named.
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Her throat feels tight but she holds the key back out to him.
"Clear it with your people."
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"Keep it. I'll let you know when I do and then I don't have to exchange it again."
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"You are no less important to me. And I am asking you to trust this, Rosita. Trust me with this. This task only."
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"Don't fucking do that." She'd been waffling before, but now she turns and tosses the key onto the table, slides her arm through the other strap of the pack and starts for the door.
"I know I'm a mess, and I know you're trying, and I know - don't do that. Don't say shit you think I want to hear.
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"Ro, stop."
He cannot and will not let the emotions get the better of him.
"I am asking you to do one task. I am asking you to try. For me. Now. You do not have to believe me, but I have never given you an indication that I am - am - blowing smoke up your ass."
He hopes that's the right expression.
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"You think I'm not trying? Does this not look like trying to you? You think I'm out here just talking to anyone? You think anyone else has gotten a fucking apology from me?"
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And she has already slid so far backwards she's a little ashamed of how easy it was, but they didn't touch on that, they haven't needed to, so she lets it go now too.
"At least it's not that simple. Don't think that of all the things I might believe, that I think I hold a candle to a list that includes two men you would consider partners, and... Eric."
She has no quick summary for the bond between a vampire and his sire, and she doesn't try right now.
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"You are everything I would ever want in a friend. In a sister. In a daughter. You are family to me in more ways than you understand. That will always take priority. To me."
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Then it softens further to something pained, something longing, and she swallows and looks away.
"...I want to be able to believe that, Godric. I do." She wants nothing more, in fact, and that's why it feels so dangerous. "I don't know how. I just told you, I don't know how."
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He looks up to her from where he finally sits.
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He spreads out his hands. "I am willing to bet it all on this, Rosita. Please."
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She doesn't know how, only that in the end she will not be welcome where she has come to call home, and if that happens again she has no idea what she'll do.
He asks her to trust him. To try. She looks at the key, looks at him and feels like she can't fucking breathe, but she snatches up the key again.
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"Thank you." He doesn't want to risk her losing her nerve again. "I'll see you later."
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She runs, even though she doesn't let herself speed up from a walk.
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I have asked Archer and Eric and the answer was the same. I even learned how to send things through this.
My conversation with Eric and my conversation with Archer.
He's rather proud of himself for learning to do it, even if it took him three hours to figure out.
He's old. Too old for technology sometimes.
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But he'll wake up again to her, Thank you.