"It's not about right or wrong," she answers, because while they both know there is such a thing, it's not like she's going to rub his face in it if they make a mistake together; he certainly hasn't rubbed hers in the ones she's made.
"It's about what goal we're working towards and how we're doing it. You said you wanted me to lead."
Her brow furrows for a moment, wanting to evade again like she has been so far - exacerbated, even, by the fact that they're adjusting at such wildly different rates, and that he has surrounded himself with people he can rely on while she has only him and those he's introduced.
But she physically shakes it off, and instead says, "That's what I'm asking. What shots are you hoping to see me call? What would you like to see?"
It's different here, where the leader doesn't have to worry about walls and the dead. "The ones you've been making. How we fix this place up, the sort of bases we fortify. What caches to focus on."
"We're more spread out, but the principle is the same. Broken Hollow is as much a part of the community as Creekside. So is the Manor." He looks down, though. "I like having my own place but I miss having people sometimes. I'd live here more if I could. Or at least closer."
It's a problem she doesn't have a solution to - and one she chafes at, after years of being beholden to no one she doesn't care for unless she chooses to be.
"I'm just thinking we might have to adjust. Adapt to this place as it is." A beat. "After the shortest exit tunnel is secure, I want to shift K to something else for a while. Vrenille's working on portals for the rest."
"Where do you need help?" K will do it, Jesus knows. He'll do it without complaint, but Jesus wants it to be something K can enjoy. Something in the daylight, something around the plants.
The man puts in work out here. He showed up in the woods. That's enough for her when paired with the way Jesus goes stupid about him from time to time.
"I don't think he knows how much I want him around. Or that he's more than a workhorse around here." It's hard for K to get his head around being more than a machine, he thinks.
"Doesn't mean I think the needle should move from where it is any time soon. I don't want to put that on him until he's ready. We can talk about it then."
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"It's about what goal we're working towards and how we're doing it. You said you wanted me to lead."
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But she physically shakes it off, and instead says, "That's what I'm asking. What shots are you hoping to see me call? What would you like to see?"
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She's not ashamed of it, she doesn't think she was wrong, but she remembers her conversation with Vrenille.
"That's what you want to do, too?"
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"But I'm the only one that can live here. Unless everything goes to shit."
And she's all for preparing for that likelihood, especially given the things that happened last year, the things that happened last month.
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It's a problem she doesn't have a solution to - and one she chafes at, after years of being beholden to no one she doesn't care for unless she chooses to be.
"I'm just thinking we might have to adjust. Adapt to this place as it is." A beat. "After the shortest exit tunnel is secure, I want to shift K to something else for a while. Vrenille's working on portals for the rest."
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"With you. Planting and harvesting, and when to do what."
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Which: "Are you going to invite him to stay here?"
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The man puts in work out here. He showed up in the woods. That's enough for her when paired with the way Jesus goes stupid about him from time to time.
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She's not sure which one is the problem at this point, Jesus not saying anything or K not understanding.
"If that doesn't work, use the rooms to show him."
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"Of course. I'd suggest the one between yours and Vrenille's, but, you know. He can pick any of the open ones."
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"Right where he left it."
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"Does he know it's still there?"
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She doesn't want to talk about this but she's also sick of people using that reticence to try and prove a point she's already well aware of.
"We've already talked about this. Nothing's changed."
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"He's doing better, I think."
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"Doesn't mean I think the needle should move from where it is any time soon. I don't want to put that on him until he's ready. We can talk about it then."
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cw: suicidal ideation, grief
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