"No, it's not." She has her hands folded together now that there's no plate or fork, no kitten; she rubs at the nail of one thumb with the tip of the other, thinking. Chewing the inside of her lip as she decides what to say.
"That's how we survived. There's no happy ending, but there's not getting worse. Not doing worse. If that's where you focus, it's doable. If that's where you live, you're still alive." Once you know how that feels, you don't ever forget it, no matter what the current baseline is. No matter if there's no reason to be stuck in survival mode now.
"For me, it hurt at first. It hurt bad." She swallows. "But then it became something else. I can take a punch, and if I can, then it felt better. It felt like I have what it takes and they don't. Now if it happens, it just happens."
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chiming
CW: abuse mention
Date: 2023-09-27 02:27 am (UTC)From:"That's how we survived. There's no happy ending, but there's not getting worse. Not doing worse. If that's where you focus, it's doable. If that's where you live, you're still alive." Once you know how that feels, you don't ever forget it, no matter what the current baseline is. No matter if there's no reason to be stuck in survival mode now.
"For me, it hurt at first. It hurt bad." She swallows. "But then it became something else. I can take a punch, and if I can, then it felt better. It felt like I have what it takes and they don't. Now if it happens, it just happens."