"Of course not," she agrees. "Except every month, here comes some new asshole who didn't care about talking to you before, but now they're a warden, and you're an inmate, and Sky Daddy says you're they're responsibility for the month so now they want to know if you're okay. If you need anything. Knowing full well they don't care who you are or why you are the way you are and they're going to prove it because next month they're going to move on to whoever else their name gets said with, or? Or they're just going to fucking leave right in the middle of everything."
Her voice is calm, measured, but clipped. She meant it when she says she hates everything about this.
"And when you tell them to fuck off, you're not interested in playing, they make sad mopey eyes at you and act like it's not crystal fucking clear why you wouldn't want to talk to them - and occasionally, they try to tell you that you're going to be sad, you're going to be lonely because you don't let anyone help you, except fuck them. Obviously. It's still a viable goddamn choice in this fucked up environment."
"Of course," he assures her. "Thank you for coming over." He almost - almost - leaves it at that, but he's enjoyed the evening, as troublesome as it was to start.
"If I ask you for your company again, as a friend, for coffee, would you accept?"
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chiming
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 01:33 pm (UTC)From:Her voice is calm, measured, but clipped. She meant it when she says she hates everything about this.
"And when you tell them to fuck off, you're not interested in playing, they make sad mopey eyes at you and act like it's not crystal fucking clear why you wouldn't want to talk to them - and occasionally, they try to tell you that you're going to be sad, you're going to be lonely because you don't let anyone help you, except fuck them. Obviously. It's still a viable goddamn choice in this fucked up environment."
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 01:44 pm (UTC)From:"But I am - sorry they told you that. You don't owe gratitude to anyone here."
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 01:46 pm (UTC)From:"To anyone here. Not even Jesus."
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 01:52 pm (UTC)From:"Does he ask anything of you?"
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 01:58 pm (UTC)From:The coffee is cool enough now to drink more quickly now, and she does, half of what's left in a mouthful.
"To not just give up and be dead."
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 02:00 pm (UTC)From:It was something that B had asked of him, too, once upon a time. It had felt insurmountable then.
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 02:02 pm (UTC)From:She doesn't really want to finish the coffee now, but it isn't in her to waste something she accepted. Not anymore.
"So could you just - tell him I had a fucking conversation with you. Over coffee, even. And I want to go back to my room now."
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 02:10 pm (UTC)From:"If I ask you for your company again, as a friend, for coffee, would you accept?"
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 02:16 pm (UTC)From:But she promised. She sighs, and rubs the bridge of her nose again.
"Yeah, whatever."
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 02:31 pm (UTC)From:"Good evening."
Re: Spam
Date: 2024-03-16 02:48 pm (UTC)From:"Thank you for the coffee. Good luck."
He's giving her the out, and she's not too proud to take it.